A Parent's Strength

The content on this page is written by members of the Senior Council, an external advisory board to the Humana Foundation composed of leaders from the communities we serve. These articles are shared for their relevance to our mission but are not authored by the Humana Foundation.

One night, I found my mom sitting alone at the dining table, her laptop open to college websites and application deadlines. The house was quiet, but her thoughts clearly were not.

Even without saying anything, I could feel the weight she was carrying.

My mom was under constant pressure. After losing her job, she had to search for a new one in a world that is rapidly changing because of artificial intelligence. I could see how deeply this affected her, not just financially, but emotionally. It made her question her stability and her

place in a workforce that was feeling increasingly uncertain. Even after finding a new job, that sense of pressure didn’t fully go away. Instead, it shifted into a quiet anxiety about keeping up and not falling behind again.

At the same time, she was navigating the stress of my future. As her only child, my college applications feel like a shared responsibility. She spends hours researching schools, thinking about opportunities, and worrying about whether I will succeed. Sometimes, that stress turned into tension between us such as small disagreements about deadlines, expectations, or what path I should take. I’ve come to realize that behind those moments is not control but rather fear of not having done enough for me, and fear of uncertainty about what comes next.

Our family dynamic adds another layer to her emotional burden. My dad is present in our lives, but their relationship is not especially close. Because of this, much of the emotional responsibility in the family falls on her. She doesn’t always have someone to share her worries with, which makes her feel even more alone in carrying them.

That loneliness is made even more difficult by distance. Her own mother lives far away in China, unable to be there in person to support her. The person she might naturally turn to for comfort is not physically present, and that absence is something I’ve learned can quietly deepen emotional strain.

There are moments when I can see how all of this affects her, when she grows quieter, more tired, or more easily overwhelmed. She doesn't often express it directly, but it shows in the way she pauses, or in the long hours she spends thinking through everything on her own.

Watching my mom has changed the way I understand emotional health. It's not always something visible or openly discussed. Sometimes, it exists in the pressure to succeed, the fear of uncertainty, and the loneliness of carrying responsibility without enough support.

Her experience has also changed the way I see her, not just as a parent, but as a person navigating her own challenges. I’ve learned that strength is not about having everything under control, but about continuing forward despite doubt and stress.

Through her, I’ve come to understand that emotional health deserves attention and care, especially for those who spend so much of their energy caring for others. And sometimes, the most important thing we can do is simply recognize that they are carrying more than we can see.